July 7, 2010

It’s the metaphorical Riyadh I need to find.  It’s the place– more spiritual than physical, more emotional than tangible— that will do for me what the actual Riyadh did for me. This is the message of the dreams.

I’ve known it for years. The new dreams, however, are hitting me over the head, because I haven’t honored the original message. The new dreams have taken me back to Riyadh, but have shown me that the actual Riyadh holds no more substance for me.  I must find my metaphorical Riyadh here in the States, because here is where I need to live for now.

I’ve been there before– the metaphorical Riyadh, that is. I was there in 1970, in Texas, when I joined the US Air Force. I was there again, in Denver, CO when I quit the Air Force. Later, I found myself there when I went to college in Milwaukee, WI.

Then came the actual Riyadh years, twelve of them, that carried me over middle age and through sea changes I could have never anticipated.  As my father said to me shortly before he died, “Nothing is forever,” and that includes these current years now in the States, years of ennui after sadness, during which I have to work and live like an ordinary person.

I hope I can live in the Middle East again; my girls and I talk about it. Their husbands are open to the idea.  We all want the children to grow up knowing their Arab heritage.

I’d also like to spend an extended period of time in Italy, perhaps get my Italian citizenship.  My sons-in-law think it’s good to have two passports, in case the situations in one country become uncomfortable, one can go to the other place. There seems to be merit in this idea.

Anyway, if I continue this blog, I will expand its direction.  I will include posts that reflect my time in the metaphorical Riyadh, yet I will not abandon highlighting the years I spent in the actual Riyadh.

I might lose readers this way (those I haven’t lost already due to my year-long hiatus). Successful blogs tend to focus on one aspect of a writer’s life. Readers want to know what to expect.  We’ve all thought about why we blog, and what constitutes a successful blog.

I want to blog about both my Riyadhs, now, the actual and the metaphorical. My criterion for success is one– excellent writing.  No matter what I write about, I’ll write it the best way I know how, and that means I’ll even revise once in awhile!